Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Shake, shake, shake the frame of this house..

Hey guys. I didn't really plan this at all. I'm kind of just talking.. And I totally understand that not everyone wants to hear what I say, I know I write this for my viewers but I also feel like this is Becca's blog this is where I can express myself and be myself and I feel like talking to you guys sometimes is the best way to vent about the things going on in my life. And like I don't tell you guys a lot of personal things because.. it is personal, and I don't really think it's a good idea because I do probably have a lot of friends and family that read my blogs and whatnot.. so you know sometimes that can be apart of the problem. Ya know I wouldn't really sit here and say "Well you know my friend is doing this, or my family is doing that"  I just wouldn't do that. But even with that I just feel like talking about what's going on with my life situation right now. I just, I'm not gonna lie.. I think that the reason a lot of people  come onto blogger or YT whether you do Beauty related videos or blogs or just talk about everyday life.. I think a lot of people do it because they feel lonely. And not everyone, I'm not saying that everyone is like this but I feel like the reason a lot of people start videos or blogs is because maybe their lonely and I think that's the reason why I started my blog and stuff. I mean I think I got really bored over the last year because I've had no job and no luck in that department. I'm not back in school quite yet. And I have no car, well I share a car with my husband but basically I don't have my OWN car anymore. So I've honestly been bored out of my mind with nothing to do. Besides that I just feel like I'm really lonely lately. I feel like I mean I just get mad, like sometimes I'm just like uhhh I'm so mad. And I just get angry about the littlest things. And I'm a pretty understanding person, I just kind of have to think about it for awhile.. but I feel like I'm getting lonely again, I mean that's why I'm blogging this right now. Because I mean I have nothing to do I'm home pretty much alone again.. A lot of my friends are an hour away and my husband works a ton and I have cabin fever and just want to get out of this house! I have a lot of plans for my life I just don't know how to put them in effect. I mean I want to move out soon, I have to push myself to get into school and find a job somehow. I'm thinking of all these things in my head, I always make all these plans that I get excited about and then I'm just like uhhh it's not a good idea.. I don't know but um, like I'm tryin' to plan out my life and I'm trying to grow up you know.. and I feel like I just don't want to be stuck at home anymore. And I don't, I can't do it anymore.. I don't belong at home anymore. It's weird, like my family situation.. I don't really wanna talk about it here again, that's personal stuff. I want to live, I want to have a life, I want to explore.. the world, I mean I've barely even seen my own state.  I want to travel.. there's a lot of things I want to do. So anyways you guys, you know if you ever feel lonely don't hesitate to write me or try to talk to me somehow. I'm here for you guys if you ever wanna talk.  I know how you feel. I know I have friends and stuff I'm not lonely to the point where I'm going to die or anything but I just get depressed or bummed out. I just like people..  I like to be around people, I always like to have friends around me I just feel safer with someone around like I know I have someone there to talk to. Thank you for everything.. you guys mean a lot to me. But I love you guys. And I hope you all are having an awesome day! See you in my next blog.

xo