Friday, August 24, 2012

some people wake up feeling like it's a new day..

I woke up this morning feeling like I go through the same day continuously. There is a feeling of somber that comes over me once I'm fully coherent. All I want to do is go back to sleep.. to the place where I feel nothing. Where I think nothing, hear nothing, speak nothing... I'm just still. I'm asleep. Even though my dreams begin to deeply disturb my peace that I may have for what, an hour or so.. I'm away from everything that can literally hurt me. When I am asleep, I don't think. I am not ashamed. I am alone, but I feel safe. It's a scary feeling to think that you would want to permanently be asleep because you feel like that would be the only time you felt peace. Where you felt free. I want to feel this awake.. alive.  Right now my stomach is in knots and I feel disconnected from everyone and everything. I can't find an outlet. I don't know how else to express myself. I'm done for now.. But this is how I am feeling.


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